It was recently pointed out to me that I stink at accepting favors. A friend was trying to pay me for helping her publicize something. “I did it because I wanted to lend a hand,” I protested. “You don’t need to pay me anything!”
She pointed out that she would like to give me something because it would make her feel good. “Stop being selfish and hoarding the good deeds to yourself!” she scolded.
That threw me for a bit of a loop. I hadn’t considered that I was being selfish. It’s true tho. I love helping people. I believe the karmic ‘you reap what you sow’ laws, and anytime I have a chance to help someone I leap on it. It makes me feel happy, and I can think that somehow I did what I could to make the world better. She’s right tho, I’ve been being selfish.
I have a hard time accepting gifts and money. In my past I’ve learned to equate accepting gifts with accepting obligations. Probably my distant past as a ‘professional panhandler’ also has something to do with it. I don’t want to be seen as a beggar; been there done that and not going back. I’d never seen refusing gifts as “being selfish” but she is right.
I’m always crapping on about how ‘any man can be great because any man can serve’, to paraphrase Martin Luther King. But then I go and refuse favors and turn my nose up at help. I have been scolded, put in my place and I apologize to everyone who I ever refused help and gifts from.
A truce has been struck. I still have a hard time accepting gifts and money from even close friends so she suggested adding a tip jar to this blog. She pointed out that as a waitress I didn’t have a problem accepting tips because I felt like I’d worked for them. Just because I love what I do here doesn’t mean I’m not working, she pointed out. I can see her point, so last week I added the tip jar.
I know I’m not supposed to make a big deal about the tips, but when I got the first ones my eyes watered up and I got all sentimental. I maintain that I have the best friends in the world, and I have been lucky enough to know the best people ever. Your tips will go to a good purpose; paying GoDaddy for my blog and domain names and keeping the invaluable supply of coffee coming.
Thank you a million times, and I am grateful for your support. You are all awesome, whether you tip or not, and I appreciate you for stopping by Dandilyon Fluff ;D