Sometimes silence is required while growth occurs. Lately quite a lot has been changing in my life as I move from one phase to the next. Writing has always taken a central role in my life, but lately it has been taking over completely.
The muse has tossed me into a padded room while she pokes me into new growth. My rational self resists—I can’t give complete control to a delusory entity! I have bills to pay, breakfast to make and shopping to do.
The muse says no.
Instead, she has filled me to the bursting point with radical dreams until my brain bleeds words. As much as I try to resist, she is turning out to be the stronger of us. Soon, there may be nothing left of me but this.
As she eclipses my sense of self with creative flow, I find that the Me and the Work are merging into a single entity. She stays nestled behind my ear, whispering madness into my brain and causing my heart to race. The world in my mind and the world I participate in are merging to become a fantastical place I have always been aware of, but so far resisted permanent residence in.
She gives me occasional, brief forays into sanity, but her grip stays firm on my collar. I only have a few moments in the sun before she hauls me back. I am required to attend to her needs.
Perhaps she will release me in the future. I’ll wander into the grocery store one day, blinking and confused by the absolute normality of life in her absence. For now, my resistance fades beneath her crushing demands. Life takes on technicolor hues as she forces open my inner vision.
Don’t send help.