Raw and unedited. Please excuse the typos.
I have an amazing agent interested in a novel from me. I’ve never really had an agent before because I wanted to wait until I had something of value and the experience. By now, I think this has happened. I just won two Bram Stoker Awards last month. While I’m so excited to have the awards, their real benefit is to allow my work to be noticed.
One of the Bram Stokers was for Tortured Willows, the collection of poetry I did with Geneve Flynn, Christina Sng and Lee Murray. Writing my part in that collection has changed my direction. In a month, my view of who I was changed. I’ve never had the concept of “my people.” I’ve never had a direction, goal or mission. My plan has always been to write my best, and write a lot… and one day I might be able to use it for something good.
This is my official story, the thing I say in polite company, but it’s not entirely true. The truth is a little embarrassing: ever since I was very young I have been positive that one day I would write something that would save the world. I guess it’s obvious why I don’t really say that at parties. I’m not even sure if I believe it, or if I believe I’m delusional. Regardless, this thought has been with me as long as I’ve written. I didn’t worry about it. I just wrote, waiting without pining.
Then, in August 2021, my mission found me with Tortured Willows. Four Asian women decided to write a book from our points of view to continue the conversation that had begun with Black Cranes (ed. By Lee Murray and Geneve Flynn). I certainly didn’t expect it to be life changing. In researching what it meant to be Shimanchu I discovered identity. I understood why I am so different, why my family never fit in and who I am now. The Shimanchu are the indigineous people of the Ryukuan Kingdom, today known as Okinawa Prefecture. I found myself. With a little more research and a lot of crying, my purpose found me.
The Ryukuan people are not Japanese. They have their own language that the Japanese can’t understand (called Uchinaaguchi) and the Shimanchu people can’t understand the Japanese without learning the language. Different customs, culture, DNA makeup… long story short the Japanese illegally claimed the Kingdom and have sold it out to the Americans.
The complaints of the Shimanchu are justified. To date, there have been 9,000 murders, rapes and robberies committed by US service members against the indigenous people. The cases for sexual assault are higher on the military bases located on Okinawa Prefecture than anywhere else in the world. One of the youngest victims of rape was nine months old. The people objected to the Koza Uprising on December 20, 1970.
Okinawa was claimed by the US after World War II because it was such a strategic location for military bases. The US sold Okinawa to Japan for six hundred eighty-five million dollars despite the protests of the people they were selling.
But here we are. And here’s my purpose. And this is why I’m writing my first novel about what happened to the people of the Ryukyuan Kingdom during World War II. Right now I’m calling it Inujini, which means a dog’s death—a death without purpose.
It probably seems a little overkill to write all this about writing a book… I agree with you. But I didn’t expect Tortured Willows to change my life so much. I’m a different person now. You know how Christians use the term born again? That is what that poetry collection did for me. It was a religious experience. I was lost, and then found. I was born again into a people and purpose.
I’m only 25% Shimanchu, but this is perfect for what I need. The Shimanchu people have been protesting the American bases on their island for years. My ex husband was military and I don’t know how many times I’ve heard someone tell me “Oh, they love us there” when referring to Okinawa. I had no reason to disbelieve this until I started learning.
The 75% of me that is white has a certain amount of privilege. The writing skills I have polished and honed my entire life give me a certain amount of voice. The publishing company I established in my grandmother’s name gives me a certain amount of reach. The two Bram Stoker Awards and other honors I’ve received give me a certain amount of impact. All of it has been wasted until now.
I’m keeping an account of myself as I write this book so I can record the changes it may or may not make on me. I wish I’d done this for Tortured Willows, but I wasn’t expecting 15 poems to pivot my entire life purpose. Maybe it won’t be that way with Inujini, but if it does, I want to be able to share the process.
Times are what they are right now, I may not even be alive in six weeks when I hope to finish this. Our personal freedoms are being whittled away and it’s starting to look very Orwellian. My goal here is to shine light on the travesty that is occurring at this moment in Okinawa. I hope this book can shine a light on it, spur some outrage and raise awareness and pressure to return the Ryukyuan Kingdom to the Ryukuan people.
The white part of me wants you to know we need these wise, spirit led people. The Shimachu in me wants you to know we need all our indigenous peoples. Spirituality isn’t for Sunday morning in an expensive building overseen by a blonde Jesus. Come over to the dark side with me and experience the wonder of it all. What you crave in your pews is on the other side of your open mind. There is real magic here.
Yesterday I outlined this story. Today I wrote the first 1,543 words about a girl named Yuki, her little brother Shoji and her parents. I haven’t said it, but they live in Haneji Village where my great-grandmother came from. Their story is really Yuki’s story since her family will all join the estimated 150,000 dead indigenous civilians that were killed in in World War II. It begins the night before the Americans invade.
In my life, this is also a pretty auspicious day to begin. Besides being a lucky day according to my astrology charts, I’ve gotten The Dark Horse, or Seven of Scepters in answer to “what I need to know” two days in a row. I use the Spirit Keeper’s Revelation Tarot designed by Benebell Wen. The Dark Horse has a special significance in her deck as it speaks of underdogs rising and of fighting against the influences of Western Imperialism on Asia.
In addition, this is my 12 year anniversary of becoming a fiction writer. On June 23, 2010 I began a blog to build a readership for End of Mae, the novella I was writing at the time. I don’t know what it all means, but I mention it here so I won’t forget where Inujini began in case it means something later.