It all started with a cupcake at a wedding. I had reached my weight goal on April 1 and I decided to celebrate a little with something sweet. Just one wedding cupcake, I told myself. What could be more innocent than that?
The cupcake sparked an uncontrollable urge to splurge and I wound up sampling everything I’d given up over the past months. Chocolate, candy, cake… I found plenty of excuses to indulge. I didn’t have a problem with sugar, I told myself. I could quit anytime I wanted to. The weight was staying off thanks to all my running.
There were signs that I had a problem. The time that I ate half a box of Skinny Cow chocolate bars and then hid the package in my scooter trunk was one. It was a lot of chocolate bars to eat in one sitting, I realized, but they were called Skinny Cow. They couldn’t be bad. I didn’t even think about why I hid the package from my family.
It wasn’t until I found myself hiding in a dirty staircase in Las Vegas, scarfing down a marshmallow soaked rice crispy square filled with cocoa cream that I realized I might have an issue with sugar. I was in the staircase because, to be honest, I wanted to keep the treat all to myself.
I thought back to the energetic, focused person I had been April 1. She ran up to six miles a day, worked, published her own newspaper, found time to write and blog… I had changed.
Now I was tired, cranky and my foot joints hurt. I had less focus and drive. I had been suffering from melancholy, perhaps even light depression. I haven’t been able to sleep. Nothing had changed in my life but the sugar.
It’s time for me to face myself and admit that I am a sugar junkie. I love the stuff. Me having a little sugar is like a recovering heroin addict having a little heroin to celebrate sobriety.
Today I resisted the sugar (except one, tiny chocolate candy) and I already feel much better. I’ve lost the jittery tense feeling. I felt cheerful and energetic for the first time today in several weeks. My feet bones feel better.
I compare sugar to heroin, and I’m not too far off. Studies are finding that sugar is not only a poison but that it is more addictive than cocaine and heroine. There is a great article on the subject written on the Food Coach blog.
For now, I need to take it day by day and lay off the sugar, natural and artificial. I need to give up the processed grains that turn into sugar in my system. I did this once, and I can get it out of my system again.